..There's a Starbucks in Kuwait. It's right next to the KFC and a bit of a hike from the Taco Bell.

..For fuck's sake, America - this is what's wrong with us!

Whatever. I'll buy into it. Just turn the power in my fucking tent back on.

Well, we made it to Kuwait. It's not so horrible. The high yesterday was around 111, the low at 97. Sounds bad, but it's really not that horrible. Anyhow, the moral of the story is that I can post shite on the intrarwebs along with email-ness. I can't text and have limited call-ability. We'll see how things go when we actually hit the operation area. I might not have service for shit there. :P

Well. I leave for the "Over Thar" tomorrow. It'll be interesting. Lots of sand. Eh. It should be a year-long tour. It may be a while before I can post again. Blah, blah. I have a headache. And I'm damn tired.

Well, I'm in Merritt Island. Here's a highlight breakdown from the drive (Washington - Florida):

Day 1: Underskirt of bumper literally fell off the right side of car and dragged for a mile or two. Ghetto rigged it with shoe lace - 'cause I kick ass like that.

Day 2: Wyoming actually exists in a perpetual scenery loop that forces you to watch the same fucking hill go by for around 200 miles. Eventually you find a McDonald's and a Motel 6 to let you know that God has stopped hating you.

Day 3: Spent some time with a friend in Colorado. Did a lot of drinking. Discovered that breathing is impossible.

Day 4: Was still rather drunk. Saw Land of the Lost. Passed out in friend's sister's bed.

Day 5: Found a neat looking pine cone. Kept it. Otherwise uneventful. Drove.

Day 6:  Louisiana is spooky. Mississippi is strange.

Day 7: Got cut off by a milk truck. Threw neat looking pine cone at milk truck. Truck driver did not notice. Home.

The moral of the story is.. Fuck driving America.

Flying submarine hovering above the outskirts of Australia's Outback. I want to spend the rest of my life battling giant alien spiders and eating cold spaghettios in an airborne yellow submersible. I HAS WIN!

I'M NOT COMPLETELY DEAD YET.

Just.. Mostly. But, then again, that's been the issue for quite some time.

So, an update; I'll be heading to Florida around the beginning of June in an attempt reunite with peoples from the Motherland prior to shipping off for Afraqistan. It's  my last trip home before a deployment which will theoretically last a year - though, longer is a distinct possibility. Yay.

Anyone up for an adventure or two?

Oreo > World.

Last night was a precise replica of last Friday night; in particular, the whole waking up at 8:00 on only 4 hours  of sleep spiel.

Oh well.

And now for something entirely random. Yesterday, I woke up at around 3:00 AM for work - which is not at all anything out of the ordinary, considering it is the military - and spent the entire day feeling relatively good about life, the Universe, and everything despite the best efforts of the idiots around me. Last night, a friend and I went to an electronic / hip hop club in Seattle - which was a great time, aside from the fact that we didn't get back until around 3 in the morning.. Seattle is one hell of a  drive. Anyhow, I finally managed to pass out at 4:00 AM. I woke up this morning at 8:00 AM and, not thinking anything of it, got up, went to the gym, and meandered through the motions of my usual routine. Nothing special. Came back, consumed protein slop, and suddenly realized that I'm only running off of 4 hours of sleep. Haa.

The moral of this story is that when Jurassic Park becomes a reality, Indiana Jones is the only man who can possibly save us all.

And so, the beginning of another epic weekend. My aspirations include:

1. Romping about in a kilt tonight, overdosing on caffeine, and watching The Watchmen.

2. Spending Saturday sitting on a patio in a lawn chair in the snow listening to angry rastafarian music and drinking myself into an unholy stupor.

3. Exercising my dominance over the All by eradicating the entirety of humanity and replacing it with talking pickle-people on Sunday.

Oh yes. I rock.

1. Did you date someone from your school? Yep.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No. No I didn't.

3. Did you car pool to school? I had no need of pitiful human locomotion. At the time I had just completed my mastery over time and space, and thus was capable of warping the fabric of reality with but a thought using ambient energies. I'm awesome like that.

4. What kind of car did you have? See above.

5. What kind of car do you have now? ...

6. It's Friday night...where were you? Fucked if I can remember. Possibly at the edge of all existence attempting to piss my name into a singularity.

7. It's Friday night...where are you NOW? ..Probably sitting around. I tend to do a lot of sitting around, though the location changes all too frequently.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? Clerical work at a title and escrow corporation. Also, dissolving the threads that bind the realm of the plausible to this plane of existence.

9. What kind of job do you do now? Army crap. Learning Arabic and pretending to be a medic.

10. Were you a party animal? Negatiff.

11. Were you considered a flirt? Negatiff, part deuce.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Nope. The violins at the edge of eternity play themselves.

13. Were you a nerd? Still am. Anything wrong with that? I'll skullfuck you with a maglite.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? Nope. Though, in hindsight, I'm kinda curious how I managed to avoid it..

15. Can you sing the fight song? My school's? No. Manson's? Maybe.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Crane, Vaughn, and there were two others whose names I can't even remember. Fuck.

17. Where did you sit during lunch? My little "group" had a tendency to drift.

18. What was your school's full name? Merritt Island High School - of Doom.

19. When did you graduate? 2004.

20. What was your school mascot? Mustangs. Huh.

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Go back and do what again? Your mother? Sure.

22. Did you have fun at Prom? No. No I did not. The haze of alcohol following that fuckfest, however, was much more pleasant.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? I didn't actually go to prom with anyone. I met up with a few friends, but didn't really have a date. Meh.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? Nope.

25. Do you still talk to people from school? A few, though not all that frequently. Meh.

..I wanna be a werewolf when I grow up.

Kill me, plzkthx one.

Now it's time to freak out for absolutely no fucking reason --

I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL EVERYONE EVER.

Stay tuned.

In hindsight, applying for a credit card and listing my occupation as, "Other: I kills bitches, yo," was probably not the best method of approach.

More to follow.

I have.. Dinosaurs?